Cohabitation before Marriage Pros and Cons Wedding Scribbles
Post on: 20 Июнь, 2015 No Comment
As the term suggests “co” and “habitat,” it means living under the same roof before marriage. The number of unmarried couples living together increases year after year. And with the latest research made by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, you’re looking at as much as 40% of unmarried couples living together. While you may attribute this to society’s liberal take on what used to be a social stigma, we all have different views on this.
Whether you support cohabitation before marriage or not, let me share a few pros and cons. Like any other type of relationship, there are advantages and disadvantages. Should you have to decide on this some time in the future, here’s a list to help you make an informed decision.
Pros:
It’s a great financial relief.
When you’re paying for rent, bills and groceries alone, having someone to share these financial responsibilities can feel pretty awesome! You cash out half of what you used to spend when you were living alone and this makes the possibility of saving more attainable. If you have college loans, it may help you pay your loans sooner.
Living in the same house, you get to see how your partner really. Gone are the days when you see them dressed-up, looking good and smiling because now, you wake up and see them first thing in the morning. Wearing their jammies, no shower yet sporting a morning breath! You get to see them in their natural personality and know how they react when they’re upset, angry, sad or happy. It’s also the best chance to see how they respond to problems and see how compatible you really are.
You get a trial on what your married life will be.
You’ll be eating the same food, sharing the same bed and the same space. You do almost everything that married couples do. This is your chance to test how you can keep the romance burning and make sure you don’t get bored with each other. You’ll be able to cook together, clean, share chores and manage mutual funds. You get to see how both of you work together as a team in practically everything, except maybe at work.
Because you have to think of your partner, it’s not okay to splurge on a new pair of sneakers when the rent is due in a week. When you have a responsibility towards your partner, you learn to use your money wisely and set it aside for expenses that will affect both of you.
Cons:
- You give up your single life.
Staying out and partying until 2 in the morning may have been your normal routine when you lived alone but with a partner, it’s just not right to come home late and sleep through the morning. Leaving a week’s laundry on the floor or not washing the dishes isn’t going to work well for both of you so when you commit to live with your partner, you have to say good bye to a lot of things you used to do when you were single.
You get used to your partner.
When you live together, you see each other every day. You know their routines and their schedules so you get used to the person quickly. It then becomes a challenge to romance them because you know you have your partner most of the time. This is where the challenge to keep the fire burning comes in. Some couples get so used to each other they give up on making things interesting for the relationship to blossom. Also, those living together spend less “quality-time” together compared to couples who live separately.
Because you spend so much time together, the possibility of more arguments isn’t too far away. While you’re learning to adjust on each other’s behavior and personality, the chances of finding fault in each other increases. When you learn that your partner never washed dishes in her life or that he has a habit of dropping wet towels on the floor, this sparks a discussion which could end up being an argument.
When you decide to move into one apartment and co-sign the lease, it becomes a limiting factor. If you signed a lease for a year but decided the relationship isn’t working out half way through the year, it’s not easy to just pack up and leave. A lot of couples who aren’t happy about their relationship choose to stay. If you shared the costs for the furniture and other home appliances, it’s difficult to just walk out on your partner and find your own place.
It may give you the wrong mindset about relationships.
In successful marriages, both partners started off with a covenant mentality, that is to love the other sacrificially for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health. This is serious business and both partners agree to such huge responsibility. So the everyday mindset of both partners would be How can I bless my spouse today?.
In cohabitation, this mentality may be absent. Couples live together to test and see how one is good at taking care of the other before they commit to marriage. The mindset may be a shallow Lets see if we can live together in harmony.
