Splitting investment assets in a divorce is complex, tricky and emotionally draining. But financial advisers can be indispensable in helping couples divvy up stocks, mutual funds and bonds during these often painful proceedings.

Which partner gets to keep the Apple (AAPL ) stock and which one gets IBM (IBM )? Ideally, financial advisers help couples talk out such knotty issues and see things from the other’s view to help reach a consensus. As money professionals, they can also point to financial nuances that divorce lawyers miss.

One major issue in separating a couple’s stocks and mutual funds involves the question of taxable assets vs. tax-deferred assets, says Paul Schatz, president of Heritage Capital, a Woodbridge, Conn.- based investment management firm.

If all your money is in a tax-deferred account, taking any action to separate the assets entails losing some of it to pay taxes, Schatz said. Couples in the higher income tax brackets can lose more than 50% of their tax-deferred account if they are forced to liquidate in a divorce and pay federal, state and local taxes.

The single best way of sustaining one’s assets during a marital break-up is not to withdraw any money from the IRA, 401(k) or other tax-deferred vehicles, Schatz said.

Invariably, when couples divorce and unravel their assets, both spouses hire a separate financial adviser to represent them. Often one spouse doesn’t trust the existing adviser and opts for a new one.

Schatz says a financial adviser’s essential role during divorce proceedings is in advising clients about which assets should be given to the other spouse and which should be retained. All assets aren’t created equally, Schatz said.

Disentangling assets during a divorce often doesn’t require any special investment expertise, Schatz says. But it does require patience and negotiation skills. Advisers need to listen and make taxes a priority item, Schatz said.

He adds that advisers can play a role letting couples just vent and let it out while other times, it’s best to temper those outbursts. You walk a fine line with the financial adviser/psychology hat, he said.

Schatz, for example, asks one spouse to see things from the other spouse’s viewpoint to spur compromise. But divorce can be so emotional that compromise and common sense have a tendency to get trampled.

Separating stocks in a divorce can be complicated because of the timing of when each asset was acquired, says Emily Doskow, an Oakland, Calif.-based attorney and author of Nolo’s Essential Guide to Divorce. Equities could have been acquired before the marriage, during it or after separation. When each transaction took place has a direct bearing on the ownership question.